So yeah, I like you. Kind of. If you stop doing that with your face…

In honor of my semi-warm feelings for you. Only you. I am giving away A Very F***ed-Up Christmas Tale today only. Yep, a free book. Stop rolling your eyes. It’s a good one. I swear.

Pick up your kindle copy today or use my contact page if you need a .pdf version.

From the author of CURSES! comes a very f***ed-up version of the Dicken’s classic, A Christmas Carol. 
She’s not your fairy godmother’s Scrooge.
And this ain’t no wonderful life.

On Christmas Eve, Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, plotting the murder of yet another husband, when along came a spirit with some bad news–tonight she will be visited by three ghosts.

According to the spirit, Miss Muffet, VP of Dastardly Deeds at New Never City’s Villainous Union, must change her fiendish ways or else suffer a fate worse than curdled curds. As the bell tolls one, she begins her journey through her wicked past as a very short orphan, her depraved present, and a future terrifying enough to make her toss her gingerbread cookies.