F***ed Up Fairytales Series

Welcome to the weirdly wonderful world of New Never City and the F***ed Up Fairytales Series. The first book in the series is CURSES!. The second book is FROGGY STYLE. Both books promise to make you laugh out loud, gasp in surprise, and wonder just how f-ed up a fairy tale can be.

There are also a subset of f***ed-up holiday novellas.

CursesCURSES!

Definitely not for baby’s bedtime reading, this hilarious and irreverent take on classic fairytales–think Shrek for grownups–combines humor, mystery, and characters only a fairy godmother could love…

When Cinderella is run over by a New Never City bus, her not-so-ugly stepsister, Asia, suspects murder. So she hires RJ, a private eye, to investigate. Little does she know RJ is actually a villain on mental health leave from the Villain’s Union. Cursed with an inability to say no to damsels in distress, RJ travels to the Kingdom of Maldetto, meets the rest of Cinderella’s family–including her fiancé, the flamboyant Prince Charming, Cinderella’s crazy stepmother, and a seriously twisted version of Hansel and Gretel–and dodges bullets, explosions, fires, and his own ex-wife to slip his own version of glass handcuffs on the wrists that fit. All while falling for Asia, who has a curse of her own to deal with…

Fabulous, frolicsome, and delightfully F***ed-Up, Kazimer’s debut is a thoroughly fun read.Nicole Peeler, author of the True Jane Series.

Forget everything you know about Cinderella and her sisters. J.A. Kazimer sets the record straight with wit, humor and a hell of an imagination!Jeanne C. Stein, National Bestselling Author of The Anna Strong Vampire Chronicles

“More than f*cked up. Demented. Hilarious. Kazimer is going to warp a lot of minds and they’re going to thank her.”Mario Acevedo, author of Werewolf Smackdown

Buy Curses in eBarnes & Noblebook, trade paperback and audiobook at any onlinAmazone or brick bookstore.

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FROGGY STYLE

Part of the hot trend of revamped fairytales–from the films Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, Mirror, Mirror and Snow White Froggy Styleand the Huntsman to hit TV shows Once Upon a Time and Grimm–J.A. Kazimer’s second raucous and irreverent book in the F***ed-Up Fairytale series puts a new spin on a French-kissing frog looking for his princess!

Jean-Michel La Grenouille has a lot going for him. He’s a prince. Handsome. Filthy rich. And definitely charming. But he also spent his first few years as a fly-catching, pond-dwelling frog. All that saved him was the kiss of The One, the girl who saw nobility through his slimy form and fell into True Love. Okay, fine. Technically she was a toddler who tried to eat him, but whatever. The curse broke, and as long as he finds and marries her by his 30th birthday, he’s a free man.

Trouble is, he’s going to be 30 in ten days, and he’s getting some seriously cold-blooded feet. He’s pretty sure Princess Sleeping Beauty is The One. But his best man has some villain issues, his in-laws-to-be belong in a really special castle, and a smoking-hot lady biker named Lollie Bliss has him rethinking all this happily-ever-after stuff.

Oh, and he may have accidentally put out a hit on his blushing bride. Oopsie.

Barnes & NobleAmazonBuy FROGGY STYLE in ebook, trade paperback and audiobook at any online or brick bookstore.

 

F***ED-UP FAIRYTALE NOVELLAS

ASugar and Spicy Very F***ed-Up Sugar & Spicy Tale is available now.

The novella, which features Mother Hubbard and her one-legged lover, Geppetto. He lost his limb in a wood carving accident many years ago.

Or so he says.

Buy the kindle version for $0.99 or buy a trade paperback for a few bucks more.

 


The f***ed-up retelling of Little Red Riding Hood, A Very F***ed-UpValentines CoverValentine’s Tale, is available on amazon in both kindle (for $0.99) and trade paperback.

A racy red-hooded woman going over the river and through the dark and dangerous woods.
A less-than-sweet granny with a love of treats.
And a big (in many), bad (in even more ways) wolf with a plan.
What could go wrong?

Buy for $0.99. Cheapest Valentine’s gift ever!


A Very F-Up Christmas TaleThe f***ed-up retelling of the Dicken’s classic, A Christmas Carol, A Very F***ed-Up Christmas Tale is available on Amazon, both as a kindle format and trade paperback.

The story features Miss Muffet as Scrooge.(Now who else would be Scrooge other than a chick who wouldn’t share with a spider, who politely sat down beside her?).

The kindle format is  only $0.99!