A Very F***ed-Up 10 Predictions for 2016

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2016-new-year-ss-19202016 is almost upon us. This year will bring the following events:

  1. a New American President, the winner of which will surely have bad hair any way we slice it. (Part 2, the worst election cycle ever).
  2. a remake of that one movie from the 80’s with an all female/black/Jewish/sober cast, which will annoy people at some Fox News show so much that they will walk off the set.
  3. a publishing scandal, not about 50 Shades of Anything. That ship has thankfully sailed.
  4.  a TV show that is critically acclaimed, but not well liked by anyone who doesn’t give a fuck about cinematic qualities.
  5. a Kardashian will do something stupid.
  6. a Kardashian will marry an NBA player and/or Rapper and/or make a sex tape with one of the previous.
  7. Kim Kardashian and Kayne will a) have another child, b) adopt a child from a far off country like Canada, or c) annoy us all for another year. Dealer’s choice.
  8. Caitlyn Jenner will no longer be a thing and the trans community will continue to gain momentum and respect until everyone is treated equally.
  9. Someone in Florida (okay probably at least 50 people) will make national headlines for doing something that ends their lives in a humorous (at least for the rest of us) way.
  10. I’ll spend way too much time avoiding doing any writing but somehow manage to finish two novels. I’d call it witchcraft but that takes writing a spell and I’m too lazy for that.

What are some of your predictions?

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